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It’s So Cold That.................
January 7, 2018

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Can you believe the temperatures this past week or more? I guess it was so cold that there was absolutely no hot air in Washington, D.C. at all. Now that's cold!! Temperatures in the minus twenties and more. People in those southern states can't even fathom temperatures like that. And then there's the wind chill. The weather forecasters love talking about windchill. In fact, one can almost see smiles on their faces as they talk about the cold and nasty weather. Nice weather to them is boring. Oh well, I'm sitting here in front of my computer screen and it's so cold outside right now that my computer keeps freezing up. Get it? My computer keeps "freezing up?" Har har har. Here are a few more. It's so cold that.....

Frosty the Snowman was seen hitchhiking to Florida.

I went to get a drink from the faucet and ice cubes came out.

Some guy's false teeth were chattering and they were still in the glass.

Snowmen were seen all over the neighborhood trying to get inside houses.

A couple of days ago, I got into our freezer to warm up a bit.

A friend of mine was using icicles as firewood in his fireplace.

Flashers were carrying around pictures of themselves.

Jack Frost was nipping at his own nose.

Deb got a "brain freeze" drinking coffee.

My "long-johns" the other morning were actually hiding from me!!

I saw chickens lining up at KFC to get cooked.

There were goose pimples on top of my goose pimples!!

Even Congress couldn't get into a heated argument this past week.

Hot flashes, (I heard), even felt good.

Cows were giving ice cream instead of milk.

Even Al Gore was giving up the idea of Global Warming.

You have to pre-heat the toilet seat with your hair dryer before using it.

Someone actually saw Richard Simmons wearing pants.

Politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets.

Hell was cancelled for a couple of days due to the cold weather.

Folks, now that's cold. It's very hard typing this column in my mittens. Tried gloves but my fingertips refused to enter the individual sections in the gloves. Brrrr......This is Frosty John signing off. Give me a call at 319.327.4640 or email me at jsheda@indytel.com. Do you have any "It's So Cold That..........?" Let me hear them once I get my ear muffs off.

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